With Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga through their enlightening works
Inspired by our Friday session at the Exchange Book Club, we enjoyed the young man’s dialogue with the wise philosopher. This dialogue challenged the common “Blame Culture”, “Weak Psychology”, and superficial “Life Coaching” practices, presenting instead a powerful theory based on “Adlerian Psychology”. In their books The Courage to Be Disliked and The Courage to Be Happy. captivated our group, and sparked reflective discussions. These books challenge the mainstream psychological and coaching approaches that often focus on past traumas. Instead, they offer a future-oriented perspective, emphasizing personal responsibility and self-acceptance.
Our Journey Began with The Courage to Be Disliked. Through the conversational style of the book, we joined the young man in his quest for understanding happiness and fulfillment. The wise philosopher introduced us to the revolutionary ideas of Adlerian psychology, particularly the notion of “teleology” – the focus on future goals rather than past causes “etiology”- main stream.
Key Lessons from The Courage to Be Disliked:
- On Expectations: Separate the Tasks: The philosopher taught us to distinguish what is within our control and what is not, this liberate us from the burden of others’ expectations.
- The Reason Why: Teleology vs. Etiology: most of the society along with the young man struggle with this concept. Our own social tendencies is to blame the past. The philosopher, however, emphasized that focusing on future aspirations empowers us to shape our destinies.
- Peace: Self-Acceptance: We learned that embracing our imperfections leads to peace and authenticity. Ie: Stop comparing to others
- Contribute for happiness: Personal Responsibility: Taking charge of our happiness is crucial for growth and freedom, this can happen by providing value to our communities.
It really take courage to Be Happy because our comfort zone today makes us vulnerable to depression. the dialogue between the young man and the philosopher deepened. The sequel continued to challenge our conventional beliefs, emphasizing that true happiness comes from meaningful contributions and living a life of purpose. So break the boundaries.
Key Lessons from The Courage to Be Happy:
- Contribution vs. Validation: The philosopher highlighted that happiness is found not in seeking external validation but in helping others and engaging in community activities.
- Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Doubt: The young man’s journey towards self-acceptance resonated with us, underscoring the importance of embracing our true selves.
- Personal Responsibility vs. Victim Mentality: The dialogue revealed that owning our happiness empowers us to enact positive changes in our lives.
- Courage to Change: The young man’s fears of societal disapproval echoed our own, yet the philosopher encouraged us to align our actions with our values and goals for true fulfillment.
Real-Life Applications: The insights from these books offer practical guidance for our everyday lives. Here are some ways we discussed implementing these principles:
Here are some ideas for after office hours:
| Contribution Idea | Description |
|---|---|
| Volunteering | Join local non-profits or community organizations to help with their initiatives. Examples include food banks, shelters, and youth programs. |
| Mentorship | Offer to mentor young professionals or students in your field, providing guidance and support. |
| Community Clean-Ups | Participate in local clean-up events to improve the environment and promote community pride. |
| Skill Workshops | Conduct workshops to teach valuable skills like coding, cooking, or financial literacy to community members. |
| Charity Fundraising | Organize or participate in fundraising events for causes you care about. |
| Support Groups | Facilitate or join support groups that focus on mental health, addiction recovery, or chronic illness. |
| Cultural Activities | Volunteer at local museums, theaters, or cultural festivals to promote arts and culture. |
| Neighborhood Watch | Join or start a neighborhood watch program to enhance local safety and security. |
| Youth Coaching | Coach a local sports team or lead activities for youth organizations like Scouts or 4-H. |
Enhancing the work culture:
| Contribution Idea | Description |
|---|---|
| Team Building | Organize team-building activities that promote collaboration and positive work culture. |
| Employee Wellness | Advocate for and help implement employee wellness programs, including mental health days and fitness challenges. |
| Green Initiatives | Lead or participate in workplace sustainability projects like recycling programs or energy-saving initiatives. |
| Professional Development | Offer to conduct training sessions or share knowledge with colleagues to enhance their skills. |
| Corporate Social Responsibility | Initiate or join CSR projects that allow your company to give back to the community, such as charity drives or volunteer days. |
| Diversity and Inclusion | Advocate for diversity and inclusion initiatives to create a more equitable workplace. |
| Peer Support | Start or join peer support groups that address work-related stress, career development, or work-life balance. |
| Innovation Projects | Lead or participate in innovative projects that can improve company processes or products. |
| Internal Mentorship | Mentor junior employees to help them navigate their career paths within the company. |
Conclusion: Our discussions of The Courage to Be Disliked and The Courage to Be Happy have profoundly impacted our perspectives on happiness and self-fulfillment. These books challenge us to break free from the shackles of past traumas and societal expectations, encouraging us to live authentically and contribute meaningfully to society. By embracing self-acceptance and personal responsibility, we can truly find the courage to be both disliked and happy. These insights have enriched our book club meetings and have also inspired us to implement positive changes in our own lives.
Mohamad Mrad
